Adventures in Streaming: I Think We’re Alone Now
What you may not know about me is that I love terrible movies and bizarre-o documentaries. How bizarre? I sat through a documentary on Bronies. The whole thing. Which prompted my hubs to ask, “Why, Christina? Why?”
Why else dear husband? Because. I. Could.
To be honest, I actually have an obsessive need to know things. All things. Random things. Like, I don’t just buy a vacuum cleaner, I spend a week researching and reading reviews before I purchase one. Same thing with hair products and purses. I am a knowledge hoarder. I need to know everything. I’m the person who listens to your story and asks, “And then what happened?”
For example, I Googled My Little Pony images for this post and ended up reading five different articles of varying degrees of bat-crap-crazy about the fans of the show. This in turn led me to some forms of MLP fan art that no decent human should have viewed. And no I’m not linking it, you creepy perv.
I digress. Tonight’s Netflix adventure was not about Bronies (wipe your tears). It was a documentary called, I Think We’re Alone Now. It’s a poorly thought out film that follows and exploits two delusional, obsessed fans of Tiffany Specifically her. You remember Tiffany right? Late 80’s pop star who was too young to use concert venues and had to tour in malls? I had the cassette tape for her first album. God, I feel old.
Anyhow, they interview these two incredibly unstable stalkers who have never met. Then, just for funsies, they put the two of them in a hotel room together, so they can annoy each other for our entertainment. After that, they are introdcued to Tiffany and get to hug her at a concert. Which… feels like a bad idea on the part of the documentarians. They just fed these peoples’ delusions.
I digress. One got mad at the other for trying to one-up his experience. He seemed dangerously unwell. Apparently, that same guy had a restraining order filed on him in the late 80’s for showing up to “woo” Tiffany (who was a child) with a handful of white flowers. And a Japanese sword. They thought it was a good idea to introduce this guy to her.
It’s as depressing, sad, and uncomfortable as you can imagine. Extremely exploitative. I learned nothing except that stalkers are terrifying and I’m glad I’m not famous. Also, that one should never try to draw in one’s eyebrows with black liquid eyeliner. Especially if one is a strawberry blonde.
On a scale from one to awesome , this was…pretty awful.
In other news, according to a Zimbio quiz to discover which My Little Pony character I would be, I got Spike. The dragon servant whose bodily functions are controlled by the ponies. That shit is racist 😂 Also, I cannot express to you enough my vast disappointment at not being Twilight Sparkle. My life is so hard.
